Ahh the bureaucracy has its effect

As the beginning of my first week comes to end and I reach the medial moment of truth I find the bureaucracy puzzling me. Different course materials are supposed to be available to the students through different means. I would have thought that centralising such a system would lead to greater continuity and less confusion. Now I need to find my lecture notes for one subject and my current set reading task for another. I was once told that "University is not meant to teach you anything but how to manage time and solve problems". I'm starting to believe this true.

I'm not bitter by any means I'm just concerned that this temporary delay may slow my progress and may lead to me falling behind. But then again, with my paranoid nature I'm sure I'll be on top of it in no time.

First impressions

Initially I was excited and enthralled by the idea of beginning uni again. Now I am sitting in my first lecture theatre, not as the sole student of Introduction to philosophy but as the most punctual (for now) student. More paranoid and bewildered actually. I am now feeling a sense of nervousness, not fear for whether I will succeed but a fear of the unknown. I had always prided myself on lavishing the excitement of looking into this great abyss but now I feel some what intimidated.

I'm lost for words. A revelation mentioned by many came to me. One cannot live with forever increasing highs for the lows will approach quicker than one would imagine. In my case this can come on a daily or even hourly basis. I must learn or atleast try to reduce the contrast of my highs and lows. Mind you, most would suggest I am trivialising my concerns. They would be right.

So how does one try remove themselves from these, seemingly uncontrollable, emotional roller coaster rides. Only through time with much reflection and pride through ones..... What am I saying? I wouldn't know. Perhaps I can receive some quality advice and a stern kick in the bum.

"STOP THINKING INTERNALLY AND FOCUS ON THOSE EXTERNAL INPUTS YOU REQUIRE. TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE..." I already regret that last statement.

---------------

Ok so now I am out of my first lecture and frankly it was great. I spoke a couple of times and realised this brain does still work outside my consciousness. Philosophy is going to be a fascinating subject. Soon enough I will be pulling my hair out to conclude this semester successfully but I think things are atleast moving in the right direction.

Academia for the masses

I'm finally here. :o( I lost my car and have now to rely on my bike but I'm absolutely elated at my potential future. I have been waiting for this day for many years. The day where I can truely say I am committed to my cause. What passions and motivations would compel me to embark on such a journey? My commitment to the next 4 years of University is quite intimidating but I understand that it is for my ultimate benefit and I'm throroughly looking forward to the Challenge.

My departure from my ex employer was some what surreal as I had once anticipated my stay in the company to be more long standing than what prevailed. I'm so proud to finally say that I will not settle for the sake of income. I need to support a life style I find fascinating and inspiring.

I'll leave it short as I am in the Library now and must proof read my mates work. hehehehe It is already starting. My first lecture is next monday and I'm just giddy with excitment. Then again, maybe its just the lactic acid in my legs from all this riding.

"...It all starts here. This is the time when you make one of the most important commitments in your life. There is no turning back as that would be to give into the temptation of failure" - Nengi

Thai stuff - Word of the day and the sixth letter of the alphabet

I hear the bells a ringing.

ฆ- Kor Rakang
ระฆัง
Rakang - Bell


Kor Khon is a Low class consonant and has a mid tone for Kor and a high followed by mid tone for Rakang.

Rakang is a 2 syllable word, therefore Ra is high and kang is mid.

Phuad Lang Mak Mak (Very soar back)

AHHHHHHHH

The pain of it all. What to do? I slept the wrong way and now my back is aching like crazy. It doesn't make sense. I do all these crazy sports and it's sleeping in the wrong fashion that throws my back out. I can't think straight but I still have to work. Jee I wish I had extra staff here so I could just take 1 damn sick day.

Bugger it. I'm on slow mo today.

Adventure Racing: Not for the Lazy

I have experienced such an amazing and painful thing over the weekend. It's called Adventure Racing. This style of competition involves mountain biking, cross country running and canoeing. I'm sure other sports can be involved but for our event this was what we had served to us. Tentions were high, dirty looks flowing through the crowd from person to person and then there was us.

Tam had already planned to compete and had been training prior to the race with her team mate Cas - you may remember Cas climbing with us one fine Sunday afternoon. Marty and I decided we would head down to the Gold Coast with them to search for some untouched rock to climb. We brought our bikes and about 20 - 30 kilos of climbing gear. I could see in Marty's eyes, he was exceptionally jealous and was really quite eager to compete in the race. If only he had a team mate to compete with. This is where I came in. Ideas and questions were thrown around and before I knew it I was dragged into this pain staking journey of discovery, pain, exercise, adventure and of course pain.

I began my day with 2 pieces of toast. The winning formula for any adventure racing team. Followed by a couple of cigarettes. This was a bad start to any day, let alone a grueling race through the hills around Hyines Dam (spelling).

Marty and I had very little time to prepare so we urgently ran back to the cars to grab our bikes and headed back to the marshalling area. When asked for the name of our team I immediately thought of "Better late than never". Unfortunately this was taken so the most appropriate name I could think of was "Preparation is everything", nothing like lazy irony.

We scrambled to the start line while the safety presentation was going and tried to study the paperwork we had shoved in our faces 5 minutes prior to starting. Before we knew it the siren went and we were hurdling down the hill at the speed of, "Oh my god. This is crazy. Where is my breakfast and smokes?".

Our first leg was the canoeing. It has been many years since I have paddled my way across a lake and now I understand why. Paddling is grueling work. Much energy is used through the legs, shoulders, hands and back. To make it worse we had to, somehow, mount 2 bikes in the middle of the canoe. It was recommended that we use our bags to harness the bikes to the boat. Unfortunately we had poor excuses for bags so we just tried the balancing act. The handle bars were dragging in the water which made each paddle more arduous that desired. Approximately 2 kms later we reached the end of the leg and were launching into the water, trying not to drop our phone and camera laden bags in the water.

The mountain biking leg was great fun, absolutely exhausting but quite enjoyable. There were many checkpoints to make in this leg. Marty and I were ranking around the middle of the pack but atleast we were enjoying this up and down style of riding. I had never realised precisely how hard it was pushing a bike up a dirt track. My legs were aching, lungs burning and general exhaustion set in. I was seeing stars but luckily I had Marty on side. He was surely the driving force behind our team. The ride firstly took us through the narrow dirt and sand tracks. This, followed by some nice road riding towards the pumping station for the damn, checkpointing as we rode. To finish off this leg I struggled up a climb. This hill was probably about 500m long and by the top I was spent. Luckily as my worst leg was next in line. The run.

I was dreading the next leg as we approached the marshalling station. We dropped our bikes and consumed some gooey power sludge stuff. It is supposed to be full of energy goodness but honestly it simply reminded me of that caramel topping you get at Maccas. Once again we were off and running. This style of competition was a major undertaking on my part as I have always considered myself as a short distance racer - even that is somewhat of an exaggeration as I am not really that athletic anyway.

The run started ok but about 1km down the track I started to feel the lack of oxygen in my legs. My lungs were a flaming in pain like no other. To top it off I was hyper ventilating fairly badly. Martin saw me starting to slow down and responded by coaxing me into moving again. "Come on, remember to breath". It all seemed so obvious but so out of reach. I was breathing rapidly and was starting to get a little delirious but I pushed on. hehehe He even tried to gain my conformation that I wasn't becoming disgruntled with his coach like coaxing. I understood why he was doing it and, chances are, I would have walked most of the way if it weren't for his support. After lots of walking and running I was surely spent but I still had 2 legs to go before I could rest. The "Mystery Leg" (more mountain biking) and the last canoeing leg.

The "Mystery Leg" consisted of very narrow trails, mud and lots of little hills to ride up and down. The aim of this leg was to write down the 10 track names as we progressed through the course. Marty was flying along and I was generally trying not to have a serious accident. Mountain biking in such narrow quarters can be a harrowing experience and I was just trying to be as cautious as possible. It seemed as though this leg lasted forever, mainly because there were so many little hills. I often found myself having to dismount just to get up some of them. I felt a great sense of relief once we had finished this leg as I knew the final leg was due and then the finish line would be in sight.

Our final push for victory (finishing the race without passing out) was the canoeing. I was tired but I still had some energy left. One great aspect of this type of racing is that once a leg is finished the racer can move onto the next leg which involves different muscles and different styles of movement. This time round we didn't have to take the bikes along so we could paddle to our hearts content without the added drag. My hands were aching after a short time but we knew the finish line was close so we paddled and panted until we reached the other side of the Dam. From here Marty quickly jumped out of the boat and clipped our last checkpoint marker while I turned the canoe back around. As we headed back towards the other side of the Dam my hands, back and legs started to hurt. I stopped paddling for a moment. As I tried to open my hand a surge of pain went through my fingers. The pain was just bearable so I thought it best to continue. We weren't going to win the race but we atleast had the motivation to be competitive. The last half of the leg finished quickly and our excitement forced us to launch out of the boats feet first into the shallow water. We hauled the boat back onto land and could see the end in sight.

Our bikes were waiting for us where we left them. We mounted and started the last push for glory. I had a new burst of energy due to the excitement of completing this arduous event. Martin was complaining of cramps in his legs and I could only say "Ha, payback for the running". 2 opponents were in sight so I started pushing harder and faster. They didn't look all that competitive by that stage so Marty and I passed with ease. I felt an amazing sense of achievement because I had completed something I didn't expect to, and ofcourse due to the fact that I did it with my very good friend Marty. We ranked 21 out of 38 teams and I considered this a personal victory as this was Marty and my first adventure race.

As we waited for the girls to come in we treated ourselves to the complimentary lunch talked about the wonderful pain and suffering that is Adventure Racing. The girls came back though a little behind scheduale due to a navigational malfunction (hehe we will blame the event organisers to save face for the girls). Very unceremoniously we all sat on the ground eating while the winners were announced and prizes handed out. We didn't mind how we placed. It's all about being involved and stepping outside of your comfort zone.

So now I sit in front of my computer questioning the logic of this adventure. I will surely be back to compete again but the question is, why? Well it's because us humans can be hard to satisfy. We push through boundaries because we are curious to see what is behind them. Do we accomplish our goals, or do we fail and learn from these mistakes? There will always be a second chance and I will harness every chance I get. Who knows, maybe we will rank 10th instead of 21st next time.

Probably not.

My apologies for all the gramatical error. I'm too tired to stress about bad english on a public blog.

Mountain Biking on Mt Cootha

I often delve too deep inside my thoughts and forget to document the normal, recreational happenings of my life. The below story is about a little adventure I had with some friends.

Last Sunday I was lucky enough to go mountain biking on Mt Cootha (pronounced "Mt Coota"). Marty wasn't too sure if he could get a bike so I decided to drive around to his place with my climbing gear and my bike on the back. We were going to do something, whether that be climbing or riding.

I reached Tam and Marty's at about 1445 and knew I was pushing it as we had an appointment at the Regatta to meet everyone at 1500, so we were late. Tam advised me that Marty had found a bike but it was all the way over in the Valley (Fortitude Valley to all the non-Brisbanites). What a ride. That poor guy picked up the bike and rode at the speed of sound to where we were.

Before we knew it we were a riding force. Joe Frog, Cas, Tam, Marty, Keith and I rode like a posse of trouble making bikies. We approached the mount and it was then that I suddenly realised that climbing a mountain involves both mountains and climbing. Duh Nengi. I understood this was the case before hand but I didn't realise that it was a non-stop climb from bottom to top. As a smoker this concept can be hard to fathom but I strived at peddled to my hearts content - actually my hear was probably struggling :oP. My lungs were burning but I kept going. As it turns out I didn't do to badly. Not once did I walk with the bike and I reached the top with the leading pack.

By the time I reached the top I was thoroughly looking forward to some downhill style, non-peddling motion. Cas knew of a good track so we all followed the "Captain" and headed towards the local 9 network station - this was where the track started.

I had never really done any downhill mountain biking before and I was suddenly fascinated by this new found sport I had stumbled across. What an amazing sensation. The track was dirt and gravel the whole way down and within the first 100 metres I was picking up speed, heading towards the first jumps.

These jumps are, technically, used for the reduction of erosion. Now I know that environmental controls are very important but I can imagine how these conveniently natural bike jumps came to be. Imagine this, an advisor is discussing different methods of reducing erosion through the length of the bike track with a committee of council and parks types. The advisor made sure to pack his riding gloves and helmet on his bike out front. He or she conveniently covers their lycra bike shirt with responsible attire. "Now I think the best way of preventing erosion would definitely be to build up 1 to 2 foot high mounds every 15 to 20 metres". Wise advisor, hehehe and we are all grateful for this inventive erosion prevention technique.

The adrenaline is flowing and my excitement is building. I have become used to the rush of adrenaline from my climbing experiences but downhill mountain biking offers a new and intense form of adrenaline rush to me. It is an amazing feeling to grind down a mountain with nothing but dirt and gravel underneath. The wheels slide, gradually losing and gaining traction. I'm sure that at any given moment I could slip and hurdle down the coarse surface face first.

An exceptionally scary moment found us at the top of a steep section of the track. It must have been a 45 degree decline and I was salivating for the chance to take it on. My brakes were engaged constantly as I learned how to prevent the wheels from locking and sending me at an uncontrollable pace down the hill. I quickly realised that the best method for going down such steep terrain was to hold the front brakes consistently hard while varying the pressure of the back brakes.

At the end of the day I reflected on our riding exploits. It took us about 30 minutes of intense, uphill riding to get to the top. Our downward leg took about 5 to 10 minutes but it was one of the most exciting 5 - 10 minutes of downhill thrashing I have ever experienced. I'll surely be back to tackle the mountain if I can build up the courage to ride up mighty Mt Cootha again.

What an amazing day. Thanks to those that organised the ride. I can't wait to head out with my fellow riders to some larger mountains and longer down hill tracks.

Have I failed to mention something

Hooray for me. I have finally stopped woking 13 hr days. Such an immense sense of joy for me. Thost hours were really trying my patience and I can happily say it is all behind me now.

I can look forward to school, Na and more climbing. Now that I think of it, I might climb tonight.

Thai stuff - Word of the day and the Fifth letter of the alphabet

Is it peoples or things?

ฅ- Kor Khon
ฅน
Khon - Person


Kor Khon is a Low class consonant and has a mid tone for Kor and a mid tone for Khon.

When referring to things and people Thais will refer to them as one or the other. So if I were to say "3 students" I would say "nak rien sam khon" (student 3 person). It I were to say "3 bottles of beer" I would say "bia khuad sam khan" (beer bottle 3 things). Thais generally tend to speak in a broken Thai so whether I would speak the whole sentance is questionable. When ordering a beer I would more than likely say "Ao bia Leo khuad song krap" or "want beer Leo (great beer) bottle 2". Again I would love to have some corrections to my limited Thai or even some little tips and lessons .

A fear worth striving for

My willingness to be a part of such a drastically risk based relationship has been a journey of major discovery. I have put all on the line for something I believe in and I'm not sure if it will be a wise or naive decision. My sacrifice has surely taught me many things and one thing I try to hold onto is that stereotypes should not be an ultimate source for the decision making process.

My concern is that maybe I should take note of some of these stereotypes. All being said, I really don't want to hear the advice of those around me, even though those councils are simply trying to help me. It seems arrogant of me but for what it is worth I'm still prepared to embark further down this seemingly self destructive path to find the fruits of my labour.

A cross roads has come to head and I am truly scared for what I might find, but as I see it I cannot fall back now and retreat. Na means more to me than anybody realises and it can be said that this is the most important relationship I have been in.

I'm so lost in my thoughts with no real, ultimate solution to the questions I ask myself. heheh maybe I can say that it has atleast been good inspiration for my writing. Not that that translates to more hits on my site.

A never ending search

The search for residence seems to be never ending. There is much pain and suffering through the struggle of finding a suitable abode to rest ones head. This escalating problem is starting to take hold on the rental market in Australia and I feel it is only going to get worse.

I could quite easily find residence in a sharehouse but I have been living in sharehouses for a year and a half now and I am surely done with it. Many friends have been made and there is much I have learnt from the vast breadth of different cultures in my life but I'm sick of seeing good friends leave to never be in my presence again.

In actual feel I'm simply getting a little older and could do with a little more independence and solitude. I have had a car since the beginning of my sharehouse bonanza and have therefore been the local shopping bunny. I look forward to relying more on myself and not having so many dependents under my wing. I have loved them all dearly and wont ever forget them but the time has come for me to move into more reclusive surroundings - jee is that a good thing or not?

So My contract ends soon and I could quite easily be out on my ass before I know it but I'm quietly optimistic that something will come along just in the nick of time. Hopefully.

Thai stuff - Word of the day and the Fourth letter of the alphabet

Why isn't there a letter for our dear friend, the cow?

ค- Kor Kwai
ควาย
Kwai - Buffalo


Kor Kwai is a Low class consonant and has a mid tone for Kor and a mid tone for Kwai.

It can be considered sacraligeous to eat buffalo meat due to the working nature of this gentle giant. Buffalo are still used to help plow fields of rice. They do seem gentle but I don't think I would want to find myself between a buffalo and a hard place.

Hooray!!! I'm off to uni and the rains are finally here

I have received my offer and now all I have to do is enroll for school. I feel great about it. Times will be tough as a student by I thoroughly look forward to being educated again. Of course I say I'll do all my homework ahead of time but time will tell. I'm really eager to strive for this goal, even though I'll have to work part time aswell. What I will gain from this experience is more than money can buy. For so long I have felt inadequate. Like there is something missing in my life. I'm so fascinated by the idea of completing my degree because I now know only that of what I have learnt in Highschool and TAFE.

I couldn't forget to mention the rain. Brisbane has had rain for the last couple of days now. It's a fantastic blessing for our dry brown land. We have needed a good rain for many years now. I'm sure this wont be enough but atleast it's something. Unfortunately I'm not too sure if it's raining around our catchment areas. I hope that the resent spell of rain will make an impact on our water levels but sadly I don't think this is possible at the moment. Maybe the rainy season will bless us. We can only wait and see. We could just settle for drinking recycled sewage water.

Thai stuff - Word of the day and the Third letter of the alphabet

One of the redundant letters

ฃ- Kor Khuad
ฃวด
Khuad - Bottle


Kor Khuad is a High class consonant and has a rising tone for Kor and a low tone for Khuad. Also note that ฃ is a redundant consonant and is not really used anymore. There are 2 redundant consonants and this is the first. Usually you can see ฃ replaced with ข (Kor Khai)

Each letter represents something. For instance the Gai in Gor Gai means Chicken, the Khai in Kor khai means egg and the Khuad in Kor Khuad means bottle. This can be handy as once you have learn't the alphabet you will have a 44 word vocabulary.

Thai stuff - Word of the day and the Second letter of the alphabet

So how are you anyway?

HOW ARE YOU? (ARE YOU GOOD?)

สบายดีไหมคร่บ - Note that between the first consonant and the second there are no vowels. This because the vowel is assumed.

Sabai Dee Mai (basically means "feeling good?")

I think this must have been the second sentance I learnt.

ข
- Kor Khai - The Second letter of the Thai alphabet. Kor has a Rising tone and Khai has a Low tone. Kor Khai is also a Low class consonant. There are three classes of consonant and this is one of the governing factors which gauges tone to a word. I forgot to mention in the last Thai letters post that Gor Gai is a Middle Class consonant.

As of my next entry I will be focusing on each individual letter so the word of the day will be a word that starts with the selected letter of the alphabet.

What next?

Work is slow so I thought I might write.

My search for a new house is getting dire. Very soon I'll be out of my current residence and in a new one. As long as I can find one sufficient for my needs. I have spent to much time in sharehouses and have now opted for a place of my very own. My own little sanctuary where I can do what I like without scaring the living day lights out of my fellow house mates. This current line of thought stems partly from the forthcoming arrival of my dearest. If all works to plan she should be here by the middle of July sometime. I can only hope. Control of her movement is no longer in my hands.

I am thoroughly looking forward to the next coming 6 months. Times will be tough as a student but what I will gain from education will be uncountable. It has been a dream of mine for many years. I have always wanted to gain my undergraduate degree. From there the sky is the limit. What really excites me though is the direction I am traveling. Initially my direction was computers and business. After some time of chasing these goals I realised I was doing them for the wrong reasons. Now I have the chance to learn a second language fluently and I find it terribly exciting. Ok, so some might ask, "how is that better than your previous plans?". Technically it is neither better or worse. I personally think that it gives me the chance to expand my cultural ideologies beyond our safe and secure country here in Australia.

I'm simply planning and waiting now. This plan has been put in place and now I must continue and strive to complete my new found goals.

Brief comments today as there isn't really much happening in my life at the moment. One day though. I have a feeling the next couple of years are going to be real humdingers.

Thai stuff - Word of the day and the first letter of the alphabet

When starting any language you always start with this one.

HELLO

สวัสดีครับ - Note that the vowels can be above, below, left or right of the associated consonant.

Sa-Wat-Dee Krap

Krap at the end is more of an etiquette term. Thai men will seemingly say Krap at the end of most sentences. This is a sign of repsect and etiquette. Women will say KA. There are associated tones with each syllable but for the moment we can stick with the basics.

ก - Gor Gai - The first letter of the Thai alphabet. Gor has a Mid tone and Gai has a Low tone.

I hope you find this language as interesting as I have over the past 5 or 6 months.

Immensely Tired

My eyes are struggling to stay open. My work load is starting to get the better of me. I have been doing 13 hr days for the last 3 weeks and I can surely say that my interest in continuing this arduous task is fading rapidly.

I have made a mild observation. I want to stop smoking cigarettes. Now my funds are exceptionally low and I thought, well this is the perfect time to just stop. So I missed my morning smokes and by 9 I felt that I was about to fall asleep at my desk. I'm curious to know if there is a connection with my lack of smoking. If my body is going to deteriorate during the process of quitting then I'm not to sure if it is wise for me to stop immediately. I'm sure all the non-smokers out there will tell me that it's all will power and I'll feel better when I stop but today's evidence seems to say otherwise.

I'm open to advice.

Plans are going well. School is on its way and I'm really looking forward to stopping all this work. As of 2nd semester I'll be a BA student - only temporarily. Next year I'm going to commit to my 4 yr Bachelor of Asian Studies - Thai. My fascination with Thai language has been increasing exponentially the more I learn. At present I know all the consonants and most of the vowels. My goal is to be proficient in the alphabet, tone rules, reading (to a certain extent), writing and grammar. This will give me a great head start for my course next year and could also mean the exemption to the beginner classes I'll have to do in Year 1.

I have installed the Thai language support on my PC so now I can start practicing writing by typing instead of writing. I feel this may assist with my connection to the letters as I can touch type quite fast in English and connect well with the keyboard.

I'm going to attempt to teach my readers a thing or 2 about Thai language as this could also assist me with my learning processes.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to comments as it has been some time since my last comments.

One disclaimer - A link to my blog was placed on a Thai forum. Unfortunately the forum is frequented by people that think they know too much. An assumption was made that I have quit all my aspiring goals in the pursuit of my dearest. This is not true. I'm still heading off to Uni and I'm still trying with all my might to make this relationship work. I find it amusing how so many people pass judgment on Thai women while being ill informed and arrogant. One comment someone made on this forum was:

"This guy is going to get taken for a good ride. And he has no money so it will probably be a short ride once she finds out he has nothing to give her" - Seafox

This comment infuriates me. A judgment has been passed in an international forum. I hope fellow readers can see through this guys logic by noting that my GF is more than aware of my financial situation. To assume that she would leave me once she is more well informed of my financial circumstances is a "Crock of shit". She knows what I am going through and she is also faced by the same sort of scarcity I see everyday in my own life. In actual fact I'm not to stressed out as this was coming from an over-zealous salesman and I think he is perhaps bitter due to negative experiences in the past. I'm more concerned for the greater community demanding some sort of transparency and clarity in what they read. He has defamed myself by making an ill informed judgment and also insulted a nation by criticizing its people. He should be ashamed of himself. You can not the comments at the bellow address.

http://www.phuket-info.com/forums/general/14648-private-2.html
- The critical quotes comes between comment #54 - #59

HAHAHAH also a guy used the word "Love" in relation to me and the emotional state I'm in with my GF. :oP I never used that word in my communication with him. OOOO the L word. I do care dearly for my GF but I never said that word. Love is something that develops over time and experience. Not over tea and biscuits - hehehe sorry for the bad analogy.

Yet again I find myself needing to explain actions of myself and others. Why do I bother?

Nengi

"I was so happy back then"

A lovely Sunday at Kangaroo Point Brisbane

Just yesterday I was climbing with some dear friends of mine. My head really wasn't in the game but I dug deep to find the motivation and succeeded on a couple of difficult climbs. Marty nailed some nice climbs with style while Tim Tam flew up a 21. Cas has climbed before but doesn't climb often. she still managed to get up a 19. Too good folks. Now my legs are killing me.



"I began my day at the top of the cliff. My destination? Cucumber Castle, grade 23. Unfortunately we didn't get any photos of this classic"



"Cas did a great job getting up Pterodactyl, 19. She even managed the 19 direct start. The direct is 17. Good work girl"





"Tim Tam struggled up Euthanasia, 21. It's one of those climbs that twists and turns your body into all sorts of crazy knots. I had something to prove now. I didn't want to be showed up by a girl :oP"







"I surely look "All Class". Don't be fooled by still shots, I fell a couple of times but felt really good once I got to the top. This is me on Euthanasia, 21"





"Marty flew up this 24, Punks in the Gin. I didn't even bother. My jealousy exudes as he gracefully launches up the rock. Yeah he came off a couple of times but his determination is something to be desired by all"



"We finished the day off with juice, as you would expect. And Joe Frog showed up to see us finishing our last climbs"

The day started at about 0900 and finished at 1800. It's a great feeling to get out and about. To follow those instincts I hold so dearly. With the work I'm doing now I need to assure myself that there is life outside of Toilets and Freight. Hopefully I can call off these stressful days of work soon. Unfortunately it will last so all I can do is attend my Sunday morning climbs and enjoy what time I do have to spend with friends.

Nengi

I hold this place close to my heart

These photos are of Kangaroo Point in Brisbane. I have been here many times climbing and it has taught me many things about self discipline and determination. The thrill I get from climbing is like no other. My climbing will be limited in the next coming months due to my work commitments but I'll still make an attempt at climbing once a week.

"...Rock on KP"

The second day of 13 hour days

It is my second day working in my 'second job'. My new occupation is hygiene technician. hehehe This is just a pretty title I grant myself. Really I'm simply a cleaner by early morning (4-8am) and a Freighty by day.

It is a surreal experience working these long hours but I find the most unusual aspect waking up at 3 in the morning. This is a time when most are snuggly tucked away under their blankets without a care in the world. I tip-toe around the kitchen trying to make as little noise as possible. The last thing I want to do is wake up my poor, pleasantly sleeping house mates. From what I have been told, I'm not tip-toing soft enough. Not that they mind. I'm the one that has to be out on the road by 3:30.

The cleaning is no brainer work but it is still quite stressful due to my limited cleaning skills. I must work tirelessly from 4 till about 7:30. Lucky for me I received the task of cleaning the toilets. Admittedly this wouldn't have been my preferred role but as I'm desperate for the work I'll simply deal with what I have been dealt and work my butt off.

8:00 comes and I am in the car heading back to work (the day job). Now I find this work less stressful because the workload is more spread out and I have done this for many years now so I'm more than capable of relying on my past experience to get the job done.

I feel there will be a time, probably fairly soon, where I will start to burn out. This is the time I'll have to bail and get out while I stile have my sanity - not that I ever really had it :oP. I hope I can last just long enough to repay my debts and possibly save a small amount for my next Semester in school. This sort of sleep deprivation can be a good challenge of taken in the right way. For me I think it will cause me some stress but I atleast look forward to completing my time here and looking back at what I have achieved.

I think these hours are going to seriously jeopardise my writing skills. We often take for granted our regular sleeping patterns but once we have to change our cycle our brains tend to slow down until we have overcome this mild hurdle.

"...zzzzz where is my bed"

An abnormally noisy morning.

I woke to the sounds of our all encompassing smoke alarms ringing throughout the house. One of my genius house mates imagined he could stop the low battery beep by pushing the test button numerous times. Call me crazy but I would guess that pushing the test button would only exacerbate the issue. For making the alarm siren would simply waste the little battery life it has left. The terrible thing about our smoke alarms is that all are connected so if one goes, all go.

Then to top it off my genius house mate asked if I could call the agent to have it repaired. Now I consider this and realise that it is no real stress for me to do. The issue for me is that he is more than capable of calling himself. The smoke alarm is down stairs and hasn't really bothered me so I say he should "Pull his finger out" and do it himself. But I'll do it anyway. I'm just a nice guy deep down.

Then everyone insisted on having their showers this morning instead of those selected few that choose to have their showers in the night time. So I now am a little stinking on account of not showering. This isn't something most would readily admit to but hey, everyone has to be a little stinky every now and then.

So now I'm back at work after this slightly unpleasant morning but feeling positive as I don't have to be home for a whole 8 hrs. Don't get me wrong. I love my house and all of my house mates. I think I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed. hehehe Not that means to much for me anyway. I don't really get in abnormally irritated moods.

Enjoy your day and think yourself lucky you had a shower.

Overlooking chances

Chances are often overlooked due to the potential risks involved. I must admit I have never been one to opt out of a possible chance at finding something or achieving some status of being. Perhaps I push my boundaries a little to far but for this I would like to say I'm brave. Or stupid. My commitment in the face of danger can be detrimental but I feel that I must follow my heart and rely on my instincts for the right decision is always clouded by acceptable norms for society.

These norms are fashioned by the generic populace and are easily recognised by the blank personalities of many a fellow man. I'm not critisising the norm but simply stating that I choose not to be a part of it. For example, there is a common view of women from Thailand's north east that the ultimate goal is to attain a potential suitor with enough finanncial security to sustain her and her family. In some cases this is true. The many facets of Thai culture provides provisions for these poorer demographic. My concern is that this cultural norm seems to humour or defame the many hard working and passionate Thais within the region.

So what I'm trying to say is that in the face of adversity I choose to follow my instincts till the fail me. Some may say that my instincts have failed me on many occasions and this can be seen as true to a certain extent. One difference now is that, in time, I have learnt many things and can now way up my risks from a more experienced and mature state of mind.

For those that think I'm going a little coo coo with my prophetic and analytical view need not be concerned for my mental well being. I'm simply trying to express my opinion in the best possible English I can muster. Writing is a beautiful art if perfected and that is what I would like to attempt.

hehe Thanks to my dearest mother for raising me to respect the language and speak proper English. She is the first and only to critisise my grammar, punctuation and spelling.

Nengi's minimal theory of change within social relationships

This theory briefly covers my opinions of relationships between friends and lovers. I am aware that my analysis is brief at best. This is a simple observation from personal experience.

One should not expect substantial change in life due to the actions of others. My experience and that of those around me has emphasised the old saying "you can't change someone. They can only change themselves".

It can be quite unfortunate to experience this first hand. For me it was a situation of making certain actions and expecting some sort of appropriate reaction. But I must note that these issues cannot be predicted in any conventional manner. One must look at each individual circumstance for its own merits. Under most circumstances the individual will be mistaken either marginally or substantially. I feel I have been sorely mistaken. But in stead of being upset or confused I am simply willing to accept the inevitable. That all cannot be predicted. You may or may not change somebodies view or outlook but the result will rarely be as expected. An individual should not expect to change somebodies ways or ideologies as this would be perceived to be arrogant or naive.

We as a people walk a path of intermediary relationships of both lovers and friends. Sometimes the results of these relationships are less than desirable while at other times the sensations can be almost to rewarding. There must be an even medium within the realm social interactions where we can find long term lovers and friends. A place where we can be reassured of complete commitment from those we care for. I have attained a certain number of true friends I will hold dearly until the end of my existence but attaining true love is a far more complex task.

True love is surely not easy to come by. Why exactly, I do not know. But one thing I do understand is that everything changes when two so called lovers come together. When this romantic bond is established a situation arises that is completely incomparable to a purely friendship based relationship. Being one's friend and one's lover are two very separate things. Personalities change, idiosyncrasies come out and new individualism is formed.

"...it doesn't matter what you do. She is all the way over there and you are here. You are the one with something to lose" -Joe Frog

Below are some pictures from one of my days at Kangaroo Point.

Nengi

Blabber Mouth - 200 metres of fun - sanook mak mak

Just yesterday I embarked on one of my hair brain journeys. My friend and I travelled out to the Glasshouse mountains to send the classic Blabber Mouth. A nice grade 16 multipitch climb. It has 7 pitchs with bolts most of the way through the climb. Like many other easy climbs at Tibro there are sections of limited protection. Places where a fall could really mean trouble for your day half way up a 200 metre climb. But to me this all adds to the excitment.

I woke late at 0730 and quickly grabbed all my gear I had prepared the night before. My excitment was building as it had been many months since I had visited Tibro. I was looking forward to the adventure and fascination of being half way up a mountain. It is a sureal expirience and really puts you out of common surroundings. Humans were never meant to survive in a vertical environment. I got to My mates place by about 0830 and waited for him to ready himself for the days endurance activity.

We reached the mountain by about 1030 and started climbing at 1100. I did the first 3 pitchs and my mate did the next 2. I did the 6th and he did the 7th in true style as there is no protection at all for this 25 metre pitch. A complete solo but the grade is only 10 so it's not so couragous. That being said, you never know when a rock will come off in your hand and send you packing down to your demise. I love it more than you can imagine. Living out there on the edge. It keeps the blood moving.

We were behind scheduale and true Nengi form we completed the climb just as the sun was going down. It gives a great opportunity for some nice sunset photography at 200 metres above the ground. The real issue at hand though is that we have to climb down about 300 metres of 50 degree rock on the other side of the mountain to get back to the bottom. We had 1 head lamp between the 2 of us but managed to reach the bottom unscathed.

All in all it was a 12 and a half hour day from start to finish and now I am back here working my little butt off as usual. I can't wait till next weekend. I'm heading back to Mt Maroon. Should be very interesting. Hopefully I don't have the same results as my last trip to Maroon (traversing the side of the mount, searching for the tourist trail). Should be great anyway.