A little about my day - 29/08/05

A little about my day;

I woke up in the most pessimistic mood today. Like all was lost. The thought of working until January is making me nauseous, and I'm having enough trouble dealing with my reluctance to continue on working with these guys. So I am faced with a dilemma. My wage is sufficient enough for me to atleast save some money for my plans at the end of the year, but this environment is driving me crazy.

I work independently in a small, drab master bedroom. It's a modest office building that resembles an old house. Actually, it is an old house with a porch, full size kitchen and a shower. Renovated along with the neighbour's house, to be reborn as freight forwarders. It is a nice place and I do at least have some company now. My concern is that the company I work for is supposed to be an international player with a global network of agents. I'm sure our allies overseas would laugh to hear that Brisbane has one unqualified freighty that sits in a bedroom all day. So it has come to my attention that if my bosses don't care enough about Brisbane it would only be detrimental to me if I care.

Our (my) head office is in Melbourne so I have work by myself all by my lonely self. Recently I have been imagining the analogy of a soldier trapped behind enemy lines. He calls for back up, "Delta 1, this is Charlie. I need back up, now".
"No-can do soldier. It's just to damn hot in there. Your going to have to wait it out. Good luck" replies Delta 1 (the head office), in a nervous sounding voice. I'm concerned that the next four months will be changing times for my industry and I don't want to have to deal with. From my experience these problems can be very stressful.

So: Money and job or no money and sanity?

Suprisingly I have regained some of my optimism tonight so I think the winner is........Money YAY for money. It is the most important factor for me and my plans next year. No money, no climbing Thailand. It has been many years since I have traveled to lands a far. Of course, I will be going to uni next year and it is always handy to have some money waiting for the start of uni.

I'm still reluctant to continue on working with these guys but I'll do it for now. Logically it works, but once put into practice it just seems so wrong.

Nengi

2 Years of freight Forwarding boredom

So here we are again. The third post of what will hopefully become a long run melodrama of my life. The first post introduced us to what I like to call 'one of the worst'. 1999 has few memories I would like to remember but, as mentioned, these years are character building and I don't think I would trade places with anyone for all the wealth in the world. At any cost there is a story to tell.

After leaving Photography College in late 1999 I chose to take some 'Nengi time', or stone as it were. Many of my days were spent cruising around the secluded regions of my city limits suburb, smoking cones and pondering idle nothingness with acquaintances better left in the time of yesterday. I inefficiently bought my poison on a daily basis with my fellow pilgrims. Consuming only a days worth of supply as though the following day would prevail like most 'normal' peoples day's. I was wasting away in a repetitive cycle of over consuming illegality and drive-through burgers and fries. Who would have thought I had come to this? From being the bright son with all the possibilities (no offense to my dear brother) to a money squandering Nob head with a drug addiction. Perhaps I am exaggerating slightly but I still consider these days to be the start of something that would riddle my life for many years to follow. The cycle of daily 'car rotting' concluded for I was to become Employed, Full-Time. Those words every parent wants to hear. I sought full-time work for my own financial goals - Ta make a man out o yar. Frankly the thought of continuing school in my depressive state and lack of financing made me sick. The days of education and development were finished for good, or so I thought.

My place in the freight industry was established in such a simple way. I visited an employment agency and said "give me a job". Prestige and recognition were not my first priorities when considering employment so I took the first possible opportunity that came along - the freight industry. My first interview did not come to any fruition so I suggested the notion of doing some work experience. Before I knew it I was placed in the trusty hands of a small customs brokerage firm. The moment I entered the white fluro lit office I realised that this would be my place of employment for some time. My Initiation into the freight industry was conducted by an eccentric muzza, sporting a tie-die soccer T, who enjoyed the simple pleasures in life. Like compression locking the brakes on the poor little Barina. Lets just say eccentric muzza was eccentric. The Boss and The eccentric muzza weren't mates at the best of times so my sudden appearance worked out quite conveniently for all. I was suddenly entrenched in head-height paperwork and courier driving before I could say "Jee, how sucky is the freight industry?".

In short, my career as a runner in the Customs brokerage firm was fairly monotonous and plain work. It is easy to see how my work will one day be replaced by machines. These were possibly two of my most boring years (2000-2001).

So I'll end this post knowing that I wasted 2 years working in an industry that would haunt me for the next five or so years.

>>>By the way, I have decided that it will be to boring and time consuming for me to try recount my entire past. Instead I have decided to write what comes to my head. Sometimes it will be old accounts, sometimes new accounts and many times it will just be me pondering this brain I have been bestowed with.

Thanks

"....and then there was Nengisuls"

Why is it that us humans feel the urge to document the most insignificant and pointless information? Like for instance, a public journal. I would like to offer the example of my Nanna. She was a lovely soul and at about the age of 70 or so she decided to finalise her memoirs. See, life is short and without these documented events of finite detail within our pointless existences (relatively speaking), we would simply blow away with the wind to be remembered only by those that loved us.

So now here I am ready to document something that probably should have been started many years ago. Or more realistically should never have been started at all.

I am, Nengi, 24 and currently working as a frieghty in sunny Brisvegas, Australia, but only for so long. Hopefully by the end of this year I will quit my job and be off to Thailand for a month of mad, crazy climbing exploits. It should be the trip of a life time if I can just save my pennies.

But lets go back a little further. Well not to far, but just far enough to make me go awwwwww the ol days. See, as far as I'm concerned life for me started in a strange way at about the age of 19. The days before that were character building for sure. I made some of those friends that I will probably have till the day I die. But the real character - Nengisuls - was established after the age of 18 - 19 (or taken away as it may seem to me). I must also note that 2 special people ignited the name Nengisuls in my highschool days and they should get their recognition for influencing my life. Thanks girls

The year was 1999 and I was a photography student. The previous year had seen me just pass VCE (Victorian Certificate of Education - yr 11&12) which by any definition was utterly pointless due to me chosing to attend a Private Photography College where my VCE scores meant nothing. Ahh the wonders of private college where as long as you have the money to pay upfront your sure to get a top quality education. My father was funding my efforts but I was still just scrapping by with a nasty pot habbit and poor work ethic - not to mention my fathers frugal antics with his abundence of wealth.

The unfortunate happenings of the previous year brought my Photographic education to an end. This is a part of the story where I should restrain myself and hold onto to some secrets of mine. The internet is no place for me to reveal such issues. Lets just say that I was a victem and this abuse brought about the dividing of my father and I. My step mother betrayed me in the highest order and my father sided with her. So in short, my world was turned on its head within the space of one year or so.

I have a theory that my reasoning for startinig my nasty pot habit was due to the abuse I suffered at the time. This led to a severe downward spiral that turned, what was supposed to be a successful school life and lucrative career into turmoil and drug addiction. I really dislike using excuses to cover up what is essentially a bad decision at the wrong time and I'm aware that I should have "Said No To Drugs" :oP. But all you square hippies can just kiss my ass. Honestly, I have learnt a lot from my past suffering. Sometimes I think of what it would have been like to not be swayed by pot, or to not have been the victem of abuse but then I remember that it has helped me in a way. It helped me to see the darker side of life and to realise that there is always room for further degradation. You would be amased at how far down rock bottom really is.

So it was 1999, I dropped out of Photography school, my family found out I was being abused by my step mothers friend of many years, I fell out with my father, started smoking pot, oh and I managed to destroy my car in a head-on collision aswell. I wasn't hurt but it really topped off a great year. It was a trial that I will never forget it.

The rest will have to wait till next time because I must leave work and go home. I'll try to cover my past as much as possible before going onto the present. I may even cover some of my distant highschool past, not that I can remember much.

So until next time "Be good. And if you can't be good be careful" hehehe I'm getting so old.

Nengi