We have made it to Pai. Such a small and peaceful town when compared to Bangkok. The amenities for the price you pay on accommodation is far worth it.
But the tale of my accommodation and the 15 hrs it took to get here is not what's on my mind. It is the uncertainty of my situation. I have already received an expected response from loved ones back home - with regard to my last post. Fact of the matter is that I am sick of planning for things. For once in my life I feel liberated. Against all reasonable actions I have decided to calm down and not decide anything for the mean while. I think what has hurt the most has been the assumption of suspicious behavior on park of my GF. Admittedly, those that know me understand that I am very naive and could quite easily be taken advantage of. The problem is that I have cried for help in the past. And it hasn't got me anywhere. Essentially I control my own self. I must make these decisions with my own interests in mind. I think those concerned are worried either that: first and foremost that I am being swindled and that I'll have to come home in a couple of weeks because I have no money. Secondly is that I will simply never come home and live my days in Thailand. "Neglecting real responsibilities".
Now I have always said that I want to move and live in another country. Personally I would love to study here if I can. So my question is this:
Is there anything wrong with deciding to stay longer or indefinitely? Should I do the "Right thing" and go back to Australia to study? Or should I do the irresponsible thing and live my life as I choose?
My apologies for the seemingly negative post. It's not. I'm just going through this phase at the moment.
Thursday, November 24, 2005
Saturday, November 19, 2005
3 weeks and I'm not sure where home is.
It has been some time since my last entry to this life journey of mine. Reasons being are possibly to confusing for me to understand as of yet. I have a feeling it has something to do with the culture shock I am still suffering from. There are so many differences to this culture compared to Australian culture. Admittedly I feel I have been privileged to meet Na. She is a wonderful person and I have getting to know her better and better every day.
We traveled from Bangkok, west, to Kanchanaburi. Only for a couple of days but it was a great relief to get out of bangkok. For someone like myself Bangkok is an exceptionally overwhelming city. Even the simple task of crossing the road is made difficult by no real clear cut moment of safety. You walk at your own risk but most of the time the cars and saamlaw see you coming. It's a dicey balance of controlled chaos and oblivion.
But back to the beginning. Luckily for me I managed to meet someone on the plane trip here. He was a nice enough guy so we ended up sharing a room. I feel for him now as I abandon him at the time. After 2 days I managed to meet my, now, girlfriend and we have been together since. Initially I expected to do the normal travel thing. Move around from city to city, seeing the local tourist hangouts and definitely spending some time in Krabi climbing. Strange as is sounds I have only been climbing 1 time in the last 3 weeks. And yes I am having withdrawals as I type.
As it turns out the privilege and advantage of having a Thai GF is that I possibly get to see more places that are less accessible to the common farang. At times I question my integrity because I continually see these mixed relationships. I wonder whether I am different to those I see on the street. See there are a variety of different mixed relationships that exist in Bangkok. First and foremost there is that of the day by day stalker. Now this may be a generalisation but I have seen (not first hand) that many Thai men or woman (mostly woman) frequent the local pubs and clubs in Th Khao San. They are searching for the unsuspecting drunk backpacker. Some might have sex while others might get some money. But the buck stops at the fact that, essentially, these are not long relationship and can potentially only be one night stands with the hope of monetary return.
I would like to see my situation as different. I have met this wonderful girl and we are still together. Nobody likes using the word love this early in play but I can surely say that I am crazy about here. I was out one of those dang farang bars on my second night. I don't normally have an interest in that loud ear drum splitting scene but I thought I should at least attempt to meet some new friends for my travels. Alex (the guy I met on the plane) and I went along with some Irish blokes and before I knew it they were having a ball, jumping around and generally doing what boys our age do. So I soon left for Soi Rambuttri, which was the lane where my room was at the time. I was convinced to sit down by a lovely guy named Tom, or Cha Cha (Slow Slow), as they call him. Cha Cha's is a road side bar which is basically a set of tarpaulins on the road. It's simple and that is why I chose to sit there. By they time I was ready to leave it was about 5 in the morning and I was being convinced to stay just a little longer by Na who had not to much earlier showed up. She kept telling me "No don't leave just yet. It's only 4". I knew what the time was but I was easily persuaded to stay. Soon enough everyone had gone home and it was just us. I asked her to take me to the river, so we walked for about 10 minutes and watched the sun come up (you may remember photos recently uploaded of us at the river). As you can imagine the rest is history. We leave for Chiang Mai on Monday and we should be around there until about the 4th of December. I'll surely try to update my entries while we are up north.
There is much for me to say but for now I think I will hold my thoughts until a later date. I will say one thing though - possibly to the dismay of loved ones back home. No decision is final. My life has changed more than I ever imagined and I cannot imagine where I will be in the coming months. I have already considered the possibility of working here and I may also stay longer if the need arises. Nothing is concrete and you will simply have to wait to see what happens.
Apologies for the major delay and I wish all those back home my love and the best of wishes.
We traveled from Bangkok, west, to Kanchanaburi. Only for a couple of days but it was a great relief to get out of bangkok. For someone like myself Bangkok is an exceptionally overwhelming city. Even the simple task of crossing the road is made difficult by no real clear cut moment of safety. You walk at your own risk but most of the time the cars and saamlaw see you coming. It's a dicey balance of controlled chaos and oblivion.
But back to the beginning. Luckily for me I managed to meet someone on the plane trip here. He was a nice enough guy so we ended up sharing a room. I feel for him now as I abandon him at the time. After 2 days I managed to meet my, now, girlfriend and we have been together since. Initially I expected to do the normal travel thing. Move around from city to city, seeing the local tourist hangouts and definitely spending some time in Krabi climbing. Strange as is sounds I have only been climbing 1 time in the last 3 weeks. And yes I am having withdrawals as I type.
As it turns out the privilege and advantage of having a Thai GF is that I possibly get to see more places that are less accessible to the common farang. At times I question my integrity because I continually see these mixed relationships. I wonder whether I am different to those I see on the street. See there are a variety of different mixed relationships that exist in Bangkok. First and foremost there is that of the day by day stalker. Now this may be a generalisation but I have seen (not first hand) that many Thai men or woman (mostly woman) frequent the local pubs and clubs in Th Khao San. They are searching for the unsuspecting drunk backpacker. Some might have sex while others might get some money. But the buck stops at the fact that, essentially, these are not long relationship and can potentially only be one night stands with the hope of monetary return.
I would like to see my situation as different. I have met this wonderful girl and we are still together. Nobody likes using the word love this early in play but I can surely say that I am crazy about here. I was out one of those dang farang bars on my second night. I don't normally have an interest in that loud ear drum splitting scene but I thought I should at least attempt to meet some new friends for my travels. Alex (the guy I met on the plane) and I went along with some Irish blokes and before I knew it they were having a ball, jumping around and generally doing what boys our age do. So I soon left for Soi Rambuttri, which was the lane where my room was at the time. I was convinced to sit down by a lovely guy named Tom, or Cha Cha (Slow Slow), as they call him. Cha Cha's is a road side bar which is basically a set of tarpaulins on the road. It's simple and that is why I chose to sit there. By they time I was ready to leave it was about 5 in the morning and I was being convinced to stay just a little longer by Na who had not to much earlier showed up. She kept telling me "No don't leave just yet. It's only 4". I knew what the time was but I was easily persuaded to stay. Soon enough everyone had gone home and it was just us. I asked her to take me to the river, so we walked for about 10 minutes and watched the sun come up (you may remember photos recently uploaded of us at the river). As you can imagine the rest is history. We leave for Chiang Mai on Monday and we should be around there until about the 4th of December. I'll surely try to update my entries while we are up north.
There is much for me to say but for now I think I will hold my thoughts until a later date. I will say one thing though - possibly to the dismay of loved ones back home. No decision is final. My life has changed more than I ever imagined and I cannot imagine where I will be in the coming months. I have already considered the possibility of working here and I may also stay longer if the need arises. Nothing is concrete and you will simply have to wait to see what happens.
Apologies for the major delay and I wish all those back home my love and the best of wishes.
Monday, November 07, 2005
Culture shock and new found interests
Dammit. This crazy computer just deleted my entire post. So due to my dismay I am going to leave it short.
This place is amazing and I have never seen such a healthy culture. Fact of the matter is that this place is growing on me. I have met a girl and we have bee together for the past 5 days.
haahha I'll leave you in suspense till I can be motivated to get off my bum and write something. Sorry to all those actually visiting the blog.
Damn this computer.
This place is amazing and I have never seen such a healthy culture. Fact of the matter is that this place is growing on me. I have met a girl and we have bee together for the past 5 days.
haahha I'll leave you in suspense till I can be motivated to get off my bum and write something. Sorry to all those actually visiting the blog.
Damn this computer.
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
Safe and sound. Down and out
02/11/05
I have made it. Safe and sound. Initially I was intending on describing my feelings of the trip here. Then I thought I might voice my concerns about the "Sunuk" Philosphy in Bangkok (Krung Thep). But once I arrived back to the guesthouse with my new friend Alex I realised that I have embarked on a serious journey. It will take far more than this simple, half drunken entry to explain my true feelings.
Apologies for the limited entry and I'll include more pics once I can copy them to CD.
Signing out.
Nengi
I have made it. Safe and sound. Initially I was intending on describing my feelings of the trip here. Then I thought I might voice my concerns about the "Sunuk" Philosphy in Bangkok (Krung Thep). But once I arrived back to the guesthouse with my new friend Alex I realised that I have embarked on a serious journey. It will take far more than this simple, half drunken entry to explain my true feelings.
Apologies for the limited entry and I'll include more pics once I can copy them to CD.
Signing out.
Nengi
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