I hold this place close to my heart

These photos are of Kangaroo Point in Brisbane. I have been here many times climbing and it has taught me many things about self discipline and determination. The thrill I get from climbing is like no other. My climbing will be limited in the next coming months due to my work commitments but I'll still make an attempt at climbing once a week.

"...Rock on KP"

The second day of 13 hour days

It is my second day working in my 'second job'. My new occupation is hygiene technician. hehehe This is just a pretty title I grant myself. Really I'm simply a cleaner by early morning (4-8am) and a Freighty by day.

It is a surreal experience working these long hours but I find the most unusual aspect waking up at 3 in the morning. This is a time when most are snuggly tucked away under their blankets without a care in the world. I tip-toe around the kitchen trying to make as little noise as possible. The last thing I want to do is wake up my poor, pleasantly sleeping house mates. From what I have been told, I'm not tip-toing soft enough. Not that they mind. I'm the one that has to be out on the road by 3:30.

The cleaning is no brainer work but it is still quite stressful due to my limited cleaning skills. I must work tirelessly from 4 till about 7:30. Lucky for me I received the task of cleaning the toilets. Admittedly this wouldn't have been my preferred role but as I'm desperate for the work I'll simply deal with what I have been dealt and work my butt off.

8:00 comes and I am in the car heading back to work (the day job). Now I find this work less stressful because the workload is more spread out and I have done this for many years now so I'm more than capable of relying on my past experience to get the job done.

I feel there will be a time, probably fairly soon, where I will start to burn out. This is the time I'll have to bail and get out while I stile have my sanity - not that I ever really had it :oP. I hope I can last just long enough to repay my debts and possibly save a small amount for my next Semester in school. This sort of sleep deprivation can be a good challenge of taken in the right way. For me I think it will cause me some stress but I atleast look forward to completing my time here and looking back at what I have achieved.

I think these hours are going to seriously jeopardise my writing skills. We often take for granted our regular sleeping patterns but once we have to change our cycle our brains tend to slow down until we have overcome this mild hurdle.

"...zzzzz where is my bed"

An abnormally noisy morning.

I woke to the sounds of our all encompassing smoke alarms ringing throughout the house. One of my genius house mates imagined he could stop the low battery beep by pushing the test button numerous times. Call me crazy but I would guess that pushing the test button would only exacerbate the issue. For making the alarm siren would simply waste the little battery life it has left. The terrible thing about our smoke alarms is that all are connected so if one goes, all go.

Then to top it off my genius house mate asked if I could call the agent to have it repaired. Now I consider this and realise that it is no real stress for me to do. The issue for me is that he is more than capable of calling himself. The smoke alarm is down stairs and hasn't really bothered me so I say he should "Pull his finger out" and do it himself. But I'll do it anyway. I'm just a nice guy deep down.

Then everyone insisted on having their showers this morning instead of those selected few that choose to have their showers in the night time. So I now am a little stinking on account of not showering. This isn't something most would readily admit to but hey, everyone has to be a little stinky every now and then.

So now I'm back at work after this slightly unpleasant morning but feeling positive as I don't have to be home for a whole 8 hrs. Don't get me wrong. I love my house and all of my house mates. I think I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed. hehehe Not that means to much for me anyway. I don't really get in abnormally irritated moods.

Enjoy your day and think yourself lucky you had a shower.

Overlooking chances

Chances are often overlooked due to the potential risks involved. I must admit I have never been one to opt out of a possible chance at finding something or achieving some status of being. Perhaps I push my boundaries a little to far but for this I would like to say I'm brave. Or stupid. My commitment in the face of danger can be detrimental but I feel that I must follow my heart and rely on my instincts for the right decision is always clouded by acceptable norms for society.

These norms are fashioned by the generic populace and are easily recognised by the blank personalities of many a fellow man. I'm not critisising the norm but simply stating that I choose not to be a part of it. For example, there is a common view of women from Thailand's north east that the ultimate goal is to attain a potential suitor with enough finanncial security to sustain her and her family. In some cases this is true. The many facets of Thai culture provides provisions for these poorer demographic. My concern is that this cultural norm seems to humour or defame the many hard working and passionate Thais within the region.

So what I'm trying to say is that in the face of adversity I choose to follow my instincts till the fail me. Some may say that my instincts have failed me on many occasions and this can be seen as true to a certain extent. One difference now is that, in time, I have learnt many things and can now way up my risks from a more experienced and mature state of mind.

For those that think I'm going a little coo coo with my prophetic and analytical view need not be concerned for my mental well being. I'm simply trying to express my opinion in the best possible English I can muster. Writing is a beautiful art if perfected and that is what I would like to attempt.

hehe Thanks to my dearest mother for raising me to respect the language and speak proper English. She is the first and only to critisise my grammar, punctuation and spelling.

Nengi's minimal theory of change within social relationships

This theory briefly covers my opinions of relationships between friends and lovers. I am aware that my analysis is brief at best. This is a simple observation from personal experience.

One should not expect substantial change in life due to the actions of others. My experience and that of those around me has emphasised the old saying "you can't change someone. They can only change themselves".

It can be quite unfortunate to experience this first hand. For me it was a situation of making certain actions and expecting some sort of appropriate reaction. But I must note that these issues cannot be predicted in any conventional manner. One must look at each individual circumstance for its own merits. Under most circumstances the individual will be mistaken either marginally or substantially. I feel I have been sorely mistaken. But in stead of being upset or confused I am simply willing to accept the inevitable. That all cannot be predicted. You may or may not change somebodies view or outlook but the result will rarely be as expected. An individual should not expect to change somebodies ways or ideologies as this would be perceived to be arrogant or naive.

We as a people walk a path of intermediary relationships of both lovers and friends. Sometimes the results of these relationships are less than desirable while at other times the sensations can be almost to rewarding. There must be an even medium within the realm social interactions where we can find long term lovers and friends. A place where we can be reassured of complete commitment from those we care for. I have attained a certain number of true friends I will hold dearly until the end of my existence but attaining true love is a far more complex task.

True love is surely not easy to come by. Why exactly, I do not know. But one thing I do understand is that everything changes when two so called lovers come together. When this romantic bond is established a situation arises that is completely incomparable to a purely friendship based relationship. Being one's friend and one's lover are two very separate things. Personalities change, idiosyncrasies come out and new individualism is formed.

"...it doesn't matter what you do. She is all the way over there and you are here. You are the one with something to lose" -Joe Frog

Below are some pictures from one of my days at Kangaroo Point.

Nengi