Again, again, again

Ok so, I know I have been renowned for my indecision and my tendency to make major choices in the shortest of time. But hell, I don't need to explain my choice to anyone but "her". I hope my justification was enough. It pains my heart to leave you.

As of Next Sunday I'll be in Canberra, trusting that my little $1500 car makes it. How painstaking it will be.

I think one of my greatest regrets is not taking the opportunity to see Dad. I had all the time in the world. But now im gone. Well, Canberra isn't so far away.

Should I stay or should I go?

Surely now is the time to update my journal of life. I fear my writing skills have failed me; however, my delays to this blog have been long lived and I must continue now. I'll try to move back to my old ways of regular updates. A general overview. It's the beginning of 2007, I'm once again lost in the confusion of what to do. My return home has given me an inclination to settle (I feel terribly guilty, considering my family in QLD has just taken some of my stuff to Canberra). Fact is that reasons for staying in Melbourne are surmounting. Seeing my family has brought interests in stability. Mum is definitely interested in me staying in Melbourne. I'm starting to agree with her as I have already spent 2 years away from home. What I find most intriguing is my sudden interest in settling. Previously, I have wanted to continue my momentum by moving around and experiencing new places and people. Now, the idea of resting my travelling legs seems to be grounding and enticing. Second is my new found relationship. What a great Gal. I wont say too much, except that I met her a couple of years ago and now her being a part of my life has obviously influenced my decision to stay.

Thirdly, the simple transition from continual discovery, while in Brisbane, has been moving at the least. I have learnt much in the last 2 years; however, what I haven't learnt is how to stay still and reflect in the here and now. For too long I have looked too far forwards, never thinking about what I have in front of me.

At the end of the day, I still want to learn Chinese; I still want to see the world, and live in a culture outside my own; but most importantly, I want to have people I care about around me. I fear that my continual momentum will remove me from those I love and care for.

hahaha and to think I was getting comfortable with the status quo. My state of affairs have changed again. As per usual. Could I expect anything different.