My indecision plagues each day I endevour to find direction life. Recently, I have been moving back and forth between the ideas of travelling to Japan or Thailand. There are pros and cons to both directions and I have - hopefully - come to a final decision.
My first option is to travel to Thailand so I can climb till my hearts content. Two months of sun, beach and rock. It sure does sound like some strange wet dream I know. Then, after I have relieved all the stress in these poor sagging limbs I want to study a Bachelor of Arts. This degree is renowned through out this great nation as the course for those lacking direction. I'm sure I have made yet another exaggeration but lets face it, a student can basically follow any line of interest in many different fields to accomplish a qualification. I don't know what I want to be when I grow up so I'll follow my nose, pick some subjects and figure the rest out later.
My second option is to travel to Japan and teach English conversation skills to the locals. Initially my reasoning was understandable. I wanted to gain some rudimentary skills in Japanese before majoring in the language for my degree. Unfortunately, I wouldn't be entitled to a holiday before having commence teaching. The experience would be invaluable and I would gain those basic Japanese language skills very quickly while still getting paid to teach. But is it really worth the effort - probably.
My house mates (well, one in particular) has had to put up with my indecision for some time now. Back and forth from one idea to the next. My mother also understands this chaotic mind of mine. Week by week I inform her of my new endevours and life missions. Each idea does have merit but none of them have really harnessed my future ambitions. Up until now, that is.
The decision to explore the vertical environment of Krabi seems to be solid as stone. I have the money and I am prepared to resign from work at the end of October. The ball is in motion and I'm ready to harness it with both hands and run like hell. So, to this brain of mine I ask; "Is this it, or do you have something else in mind?". Time will tell.
Those that know me understand that my self torment is probably to my detriment but it is my indecision and it makes me feel alive. Never except the normal and never admit to permanent satisfaction, for satisfaction can only be temporary.
I know whatever path you choose to follow, you will be doing the right thing. People say 'follow your heart', cheesy but true! And you have done it in the past in order to improve your life, just look at you now! I know you dont really like your job, but arent you living a far healthier life than what you were? You know when things need a change, but the difference about you is that you MAKE them happen, instead of doing what people usually do and just sit around and let problems get bigger until finally they are unbearable and there is no chance of fixing them!
ReplyDeleteYour gonna make it big wherever you choose to go, and you'll keep working until you are exactly where you want to be. So have an adventure! Then i can come a visit you, and we'll have an adventure together.....:) x x
"Then mix two eggs, a spoon of sugar and trow everything away because you have better things to do then follow a damn recipe..." Hehehehe
ReplyDeleteWelcome to the crazy world called "Earth' my friend !! No fantastic ideas for you just a small suggestion follow those things that make you happy and share this emotion with everyone !! That might be one of the good things that you could do to help this crazy world !!
I admire you very much my friend and you know that !! Now, cut the bullshit and run bastard !! Run !!!! Run like hell !!! Hahahahaha !!
Cheers !
What's Kraby?
ReplyDeleteDon't worry Nenj, if indecision is the most of your troubles then you're doin' alright. you got options. Never lock yourself into a tiny little box and she'll be apples. Do the thing that seems like it will be the most fun and keep moving. move and move and do and do do i do do.
Nenj... life is full of tiny stepping stones. Maybe you can't see all of the stones at the moment (it would be boring if you were able to!), but rest assured, once you take that little leap of faith, the next stone will slowly reveal itself. And so on. And so on. Even if you attempt to plan your future, I've come to realise that something - or someone - can come along and turn it all upside down in a moment. And that's why life is beautiful in a most exquisite way ;)
ReplyDeleteThanks for your support guys.
ReplyDeleteOh and Krabi is a place in Thailand. Google it. :oP