Reflections on the past

I feel that it is now important that I write something. Today, I started reading some of my posts from my time in Thailand. I reflected mostly on my time with Na, mainly because she epitomised my time spent there. I feel so sad to reflect on it. It saddens me to think of what might have been. Whether anyone believes it or not, I really wanted to be with her. I wanted a life with her.

However, what I find most unusual is that I looked at the photos I posted with a sense of deja vu. As though it were not me who spent 3 months with a girl from the Northeast of Thailand. I long to reattach myself to the memories I hold.

My temptation to return to those days is overwhelming, however traumatic they may have been. Obviously, I wont be going back to Thailand anytime soon. I simply miss the girl I grew so attached to; the girl I would have done anything for. Well, anything except go back to visit. Perhaps my revisiting Thailand, and Na, would have saved our relationship. Then again, one cannot make chaotic predictions based on the possibility of what might have been. Speculation is necessary on many occasions; however, speculation goes against what is seemed logical and responsible, when it comes to love and sacrifice.

Do I really mean that last statement?