I feel like I am finally starting to settle back into uni life. The first couple of months has been somewhat scattered and bewildering. The arrival of my dearest, dealing with the new environment of Canberra, struggling to juggle work and school, and of course my propensity to be too self-analytical has been doing my head in.
On that note, I feel as though my obsession of self-analysis has subsided, to a degree. This new found direction probably stems from my recent chaotic environment, and my inability to sustain the cycle. Times have changed now and, after finishing my second last (and scariest) exam, I feel relaxed. I can look forward to work tomorrow, and hopefully see continuing work in the next couple of weeks. What relief it will be to account for some debts and save money for the end of the year.
I would love to head to Thailand at the end of the year. What I crave most of all is to reaffirm what I have learnt. In theory I should be able to hold a simple conversation in Thai; however, in practice the idea of talking in Thai is quite intimidating. Surely, I'm more confident now than ever, so at the end of the year I will try to leave Australia for just a little while.
I'm now aiming to connect more closely with this country that I have chosen to study. Where will my passion lie? My greatest fear is that I'll return to Thailand after all these years and be scared out of my wits. Then again, it's probably not wise to predict my future feeling so early in the piece.
This journal is been vacant for some time now. I'm glad to be back.
You know, I studied sign language all those years ago, and after speaking a hack version of it for so long with my cousin, I was suddenly petrified to see him - because I knew that now I was under pressure to use the real thing. The thing is, when we met, he was just so happy I knew anything that he worked with me to support me through our initial conversations. You're never going to be a native, and no native will ever expect you to be, so let your concerns regarding an encounter melt, because when you get there, it will happen.
ReplyDeleteAs for travel... a leap into the unknown is always a daunting prospect - but would you really want it any other way? ;)
Lu xx
Good to see a blog entry again ... I must be honest; I haven't checked it for a while ... guess I just got used to there being nothing new on it. That combined with the fact that I, too, have been in a similar chaotic state as you ... work commitments, responsibilities and all that.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, glad your "dearest" arrived safely and you are both set on your planned course. To travel together would be a wonderful experience ... if the budget can handle it.
Luv SARA