This is a post from a distant place. However, not so far away is this old life of mine. I have been coming to this point for some time. And, perhaps there was no way of knowing it was coming to this, but I still feel like it has crept up on me from behind and socked me in the back of the head.
I have been amazed that after all this time, so many things could go wrong. Of course I should have seen this coming a long time ago. It is funny how the mind can be clouded by the present, and that hind sight is such an unknown parameter that it is impossible to track. My dark path has led me astray for so long now, and it is finally time to pay my debt of gratitude to this world.
I think what fooled me for so long was the fact that I do have some intellect; however, intellect alone still does not guarantee wisdom. But what is wisdom? It is definitely scalable, and comes in peaks and troughs. There have been moments where I have been so sure of my path and my direction; and then, there have been moments of sheer despair; where, nothing counts and I cannot adhere to a single logical mind.
So, now I aim to pay back my debt, to not take this world, or myself, for granted. Being true to one's self can mean many things. And, in my case, it means that I can't fool myself into a sense of wisdom by mistaking that for some lucky genetics. After all, my genetics brought me to this conundrum.
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